I found an old notebook I was using several years ago for miscellaneous stuff. In it was a jewel of encouragement. The date is 4/3/2007, at 9:45pm. My family and I were living in Colorado going through a process of restless uncertainty, wondering, hoping what might be in our future. Looking back part of me still wishes I lived there, and I truly desire to return again one day and call it my home once more. But there we were trying to figure life out, wondering whether or not God was calling us to something else, to some different adventure. We had been in that place before, but this time it was different -- this time there were two sweet children to consider. As a man, a husband, and a father my instinct is to provide, protect, etc…But there was something in both of us that was pulling us back out into the unknown. It is the life or adventure but without the security of present luxuries, out of the settled, yet a promising future. But the conflict was in the unknown. It was getting late; I was doing some reading and came across this story in one of those Our Daily Bread devotions that my grandmother was so faithful to send us. It was her way to encourage and minister to us. The truth is that I am not a really big “devotion” book reader, but God dropped this one right into my lap that night. Gotta love it when that happens.
The title is “Into the Unknown,” and the writer is speaking on the life and calling of Abraham (which by the way this story is one my heart always leads me to when faith seems uncertain or impossible). This was the verse:
“By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called….And he went out, not knowing where he was going.” Hebrews 11:8
I read it, and read it again; I started reading the little comments. Let me share with you the 3 comments I highlighted.
One of the greatest obstacles we face in following Christ is fear of the unknown.
Abraham modeled the response of a person willing to walk with God into an uncertain future.
Abraham knew that God had called him and had given him a promise—and that was enough. He was willing to entrust his future to the Lord.
There I was at a big decision point in my life and the life of my family -- all I knew and felt was a pull to leave and go. To go where, that was the mystery. There had been several hopes and ideas, but in the end nothing came of them. I sort of remember running to Jess all excited, under the influence of this “spiritual high” because I truly sensed God’s Spirit moving in my life. Thinking back on that time, I can remember sharing with friends, co-workers, and family that we were leaving and had no idea where we were going. I know you read and hear it know, and it still sounds crazy. It doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t really match up with the way most of us do life. But there we were, and this is another story for another day, but as soon as we made that decision to completely commit, some totally unexpected things happed to confirm for us that we were moving in the right direction. Man, I was flying high.
Don’t get me wrong, we did have a temporary plan (because that is the human, common sense in me); but I literally had a dream we were driving down the road, seeing an obvious sign from God, pulling over and setting up camp somewhere in the Midwest. It didn’t really happen that way, but it was a good dream anyway.
So here I am almost 4 years later, lots of stuff has happened, we have made two major moves since we left the life of the beautiful Front Range and finally settled in the Mid West. Have I completely trusted God? I must confess that there was a period of about two years when I fear I may not have trusted God as much moving forward as I did leaving. Maybe it was panic, not trusting enough, being impatient in the process (again another story for another day). But even in that time, God was still there, and eventually I heard His voice and call again.
Looking back in my own notes, attached to that copy of the devotional story is the word UNCERTAIN followed by 3 questions I asked myself: If God is calling me to this, 1) does it even exist yet? 2) is it within a certain organization? and 3) is it within the context of “traditional ministry” as we currently practice it? Today the answer to those questions is still the same yes, with the exception of #3 which is no... And I absolutely love where God has me and what I am doing. But is it easy? No. Is it complicated? Sometimes. Is it hard? Absolutely. Is it God’s plan? YES!! (I am sitting in the library right now and I want to scream it out, “YES GOD IT’S YOU!!”) But today the words just scream aloud in my spirit.
However, there are times when reality comes crashing into our faith and the impact can catch you off guard. It knocks you down, slaps your face, bloodies your nose and spits in your face. But you don’t give in, you don’t look back -- you keep moving forward. You ground yourself on God’s promises and calling on your life and stand firm. Even when it looks like your shield of faith isn’t big enough to protect you from the overwhelming amount of fiery darts coming at you. Your eyes don’t see what your heart feels, but you stand with certainty in Him, in uncertain circumstances. You trust Him with everything.
These past couple of weeks has been one of those times when we just have to trust that our shield is big enough. I don’t want to be a “Debbie downer” here, but enough is enough. My enemy knows me well, and his strategy is good -- but mine is better. In the midst of this battle there have been two incredible opportunities open up within our approach to being on mission here. One of them is absolutely part of one of my biggest dreams and desires. The other one is innovative, strategic, and different than what most “church planters” do. It excites me. They both require a lot of time and resources. So far I have the time, but it’s the resources that are uncertain. And remember those 3 questions I mentioned earlier? Well, both opportunities totally fit into two of them. The open doors are clear, the leading of God is evident, and the details of the process and outcomes are unseen. The resources don’t exist in my checkbook yet. But I have Abraham, a good example of a man who knew God, heard His call, and God’s promise was enough for him to move forward.
Think about it, God was commanding Abram to leave his land, but he promised new land. He commanded him to leave his kinship group, his community -- within this was his protection and security. But he was promised he would be the father of a great nation (Gen 12:2). Abram was also instructed to leave his father’s household, and some writers identify this as him leaving his inheritance, his financial security. I don’t know many of us who could do this. I know some who come close, but in reality most of us struggle, hesitate, and second guess ourselves all in the name of “good sense, sound judgment, etc…” I do not disagree that God wants us to use our minds and make good decisions. But sometimes faith and obedience do not have room for that. The argument could be made that good common sense and sound judgment IS to trust in God completely in the unknown, and to follow after Him without clear sight of the future. That makes sense to me. I am thankful that Abram put his common sense in God.
In closing let me say that all of us benefit from the obedience of Abraham, Mary and Joseph, Jonah, the 72, and countless others in the Bible who heard God’s voice and obeyed it. People who did things out of the ordinary that pushed the cultural norms. Who trusted Him with their complete lives. Who did things that appeared crazy to local observers. But even in the excitement, in hope and opportunities to love our neighbors, in following God into unknown waters -- the decision still has to be made: Do I trust God even in the deepest and coldest times of the unknown? Will I walk with certainty in the commands of God into an uncertain future? Will I still entrust my future to Him? Will I let my lack of resources or assurance of safety and security hold me back? If He promises to be with me every step of the way, is that enough? Today I say yes; tomorrow when I am confronted with the same question, I want to say yes...
We can trust the known God to lead us into the unknown.
~Peace~
Jeromy Guthrie
** (I do not have the author of this particular devotion but it was in the 2006 Our Daily Bread, for Sunday January 1)
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